There is the urge to be false. To be something you’re not. To fake it until you make it. Keep yourself out of the picture. Just show bits, the shiny ones obviously…
Showing all your colours – warts and all – is intimidating. The worlds worst critic is yourself, but in your head it’s everyone else. What do they think?
What do they think of my art / me.
It can take a long time to actually feel and mean those words, deep down, soul deep and then a bit longer to say them out loud.
We are our own worst critic, own worst judge, the one that holds us back.
It’s really interesting trying to work out what makes you hold back, keep safe, not step over the line, not take that chance, not be seen, not speak up. It’s not necessarily the outward image you project in your day to day life but something keeps you in your place.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt meunkonwn
It’s interesting as an artist (do you know how hard it is to say that? How it sticks in my throat?? Artist…) that it can be the quickest most off hand of comments from an early age that has the biggest impact on a hopeful young mind.
We hadn’t yet found the strength to accept ourselves – warts and all – not yet.
Some people get past that easily and quickly, some people are seemingly there already. Some are like a wall that shit just bounces off. Some never get past it
For some of us it just takes time, even if that times is decades….